Learn to bless yourself for your best primary relationship

What do you do when you look into the mirror? Do you smile at yourself and realize how awesome you are? Or do you stare into your reflection and lament about how you used to look and pick out imperceptible flaws that only you can see when you focus on them intently?

If you're like me, usually you do the latter.

Recently my husband and I were at a gathering and from someone who’d been married for a very long time,I was reminded of the phrase, "Bless you, Change me." Now, this is a healthy thought to adopt when it comes to relationships with other people, especially love relationships because too often we try to change someone else which is impossible and only leads to strife. However, it's also a good remembrance for those times you look into the mirror and berate yourself.

The “Bless you,” is for the reflection you're seeing, the external you. You’re blessing your ego who’s trying to "look good" or acceptable so others will love and not abandon you. The you who wants to fit in and be liked. The "Change me," is your discussion with your brain, your mind that controls what you see. The mind that tells you on a low confidence day, that you're not enough the way you are.

So, all the way around, "Bless you, Change me," is a healthy mantra to adopt in any relationship. Even the relationship with yourself. After all, the same struggle that you find in relationships when you’re trying to change someone, will occur within yourself when you’re trying to change the external you who, through genetics or aging, can’t be changed. The same push back you feel when you try to control someone else’s actions and they rebel, will be set up within yourself. And, since all relationships start with the relationship you have with yourself, more harmony and peace will be found in your entire life, all your relationships, when you start with yourself.