Chances are that you don’t remember your first words spoken. Someone else might, but you don’t. If you’re like me, though, you probably remember words you didn’t speak but wanted to. Like many women, those words may still be rattling around in your head aching to be let out, taking up space, consuming energy.
Whether you’ve let out your deepest desires and wishes aloud, your voice still exists. Your voice doesn’t become any more real when you let it out, it just becomes better known, especially to yourself. More truth is revealed when you let out the initial words and express yourself and just like peeling layers of paint, new hues of yourself are revealed to you. Greater awareness and better understanding is revealed and empowerment ensues.
I’ve written many blogs about using your voice, and my memoir, From Sex Appeal to Self Appeal, is a journey to find my own voice. The fact is that If you’re not used to speaking your voice, you may not know how to start. To recognize what’s your truth and not someone else's, to really know what’s authentic to you, you have to encounter your voice. You have to meet your truth, and hang out with it awhile. Some simple ways are:
- Take it out for coffee or tea—think and write some.
- Take it on a date—go to areas and be with people you’re comfortable speaking your truth with and where you’ll be validated and supported for speaking.
- Take it shopping—buy something decorative or fun like karaoke, writing classes, Toastmasters or some other safe, supportive speaking program where you get to practice releasing words from your body.
You may not have noticed, but these are all the things you’d do with a friend. And don’t you deserve to call your voice friend?