February is past and time is marching on. Okay, bad pun, but you get the point. I want to finish up the Valentines theme for February, of being your own Valentines every day of the year, and I want to warn you about a four-letter word that has eleven letters. When we throw out the 4-letter word that has 11-letters —expectation—sometimes commonly refereed to as “should,” it’s much easier to have every day be Valentine’s day.
As an example, my husband is not a romantic man, at least not by preconceived notions of romance. He’s practical, and focused on his responsibilities. We exchange cards and he’s now learned to bring me flowers because they make me smile. When I stay grounded in the reality of life, I see that in his eyes, and in his own special way of showing it, every day can be like Valentines Day.
Just the other day, when I brought home a solid rock heart a woman had given me after a talk, my husband saw it and wanted to know where it came from. I told him, and related that I might start collecting hearts. As he was walking out the front door to go do the job that supports the heart of our home and family, he said to Bart, the dog, “She’s collecting hearts.” He then looked me straight in the eye and said, “You’ve got mine.”
No expensive card, no bouquet of roses, no chocolates, but a heartfelt romantic message delivered with love and sincerity in a way that I was able to hear.
It’s popular among some groups to say you “shouldn't” have expectations, but honestly, we do and always will. We’re human. But when you catch yourself being disappointed or let down because of someone or something that didn’t live up to your expectations, examine them and determine if they’re realistic. If they’re causing you to feel badly, find a positive point to focus on and accept that life, people, and plans don’t always happen as you might expect or hope.
If I expected my husband to be romantic every day, or on one specific day of the year, I would be sorely disappointed. If I state my desires, then focus on what he does instead of what I expect, I’m delighted and surprised. Besides, the ones who benefit most from one specific day of the year that so many expectations are built up around are the manufactures of greeting cards, chocolate candies, and flowers.
This goes for being with yourself as well. Spend time with yourself and focus on the quality of your day(s) and the positive qualities of people in your life every day and every day can be like Valentine’s day